Aftermath
by QueenLydia
Summary: In the aftermath of the Sentinel attack, one of their members has gone his own way and the Brotherhood is left trying to hold together the small peace they once had, all the while trying to sort through the thoughts in their own heads.
1. Hurt

**AN: I normally don't do first person, especially not for the Brotherhood; but I've been experimenting with it more, and after having just this morning been seized by an abundance of post-Sentinel feels, I felt like I had to write something. This is my attempt to find a voice for each original member of the Brotherhood, following the Sentinel attack and Pietro's betrayal. Four chapters, four voices, four opinions.**

Maybe I've never been the smartest guy in the world- but I'm not stupid.

See, that's a mistake lots of people make when they look at me: they see me, big, invincible Blob. And then they think, "wow, that guy's gotta be pretty stupid, right?" But I'm not. Actually I think I'm a lot smarter than people give me credit for, sometimes.

I used to feel like the Brotherhood were the only people who really understood that I wasn't as dumb as I look. I guess maybe it's kinda stupid, but around those guys I used to feel almost... normal.

I know, it sounds crazy, right? They're all half my size. Everyone's half my size. I'm the Blob, and that means I'm way bigger than anyone else.

But with then, I guess I just didn't feel so different anymore. And it was nice. At school, I always had to stand out- I always had to be laughed at. But not with the brotherhood. Sure, they sometimes made fun of me too- but I knew they always didn't mean it. With them it was different- because they were different too, like me. While I was with the Brotherhood, it kinda felt like I'd finally found somewhere I belonged.

But that's all changed now, because Pietro's gone.

It's just like when Lance left us for the X-Geeks, except this time it's even worse- because at least Lance didn't try to hurt us. At least Lance didn't just not care.

Pietro left us and he never looked back, and that hurts. I finally thought I'd found a place where I could be me- where I didn't even have to be the Blob, I could just be me, Fred Dukes. But then Pietro left us, and now we're all broken.

Lance is angry now, all the time, and he spits that anger out wherever he goes, like he doesn't know what to do with it. Todd- my little buddy Toad- wants things to be okay so bad that he pretends like nothing's wrong. Like Pietro never even went anywhere- or like he was never her at all. I think he's confused. I knew he trusted Pietro a lot. I did, too. I think we all did.

I don't know what's gonna happen to us now. We have the new girl who's always angry, Pietro's sister- but she isn't Pietro. I want Pietro back.

But at the same time, I don't. Because it isn't fair. I finally found a place I could fit in, somewhere I almost thought I could be happy in, but then Pietro had to go and take that all away. He's selfish, that's what he is, and if I know anything at all I know that.

And even if he does come back, I'm not sure I'd be able to forgive him.


	2. Confused

I've been around for a lot of years- fifteen, actually- and I like to think that in my life I've seen a lot of pretty crazy stuff. And it's true, I have. Growing up in some of New York's finest foster homes does that to you. But you know one thing I've never had?

A family.

I should have known it wouldn't last. I mean, yeah, like good things ever do for me anyway- but I should have known that the Brotherhood wouldn't last, because it was so great. Well, maybe not great- we never seemed to be able to pay the bills, it was always cold, and food was scarce a lot of the time- but what we didn't have we made up for, just like a real family would. It was great, and I was happy there.

Happy things never last for me, anyway. I mean, even when I was born: I get a pretty nice mom. Happy. She's got an abusive jerk of a husband. Not happy. Abusive Jerk finally screws up and winds up landing himself in prison. Happy. Mom gets new abusive jerk of a boyfriend, who convinces her to abandon her weirdo kid, and so she leaves me to fend for my self. Not happy. I guess slime balls and prehensile tongues ain't for everyone- I get that. But she was my mom. She was all I had.

To be honest, I've been bounced around from place to place almost as long as I can remember. I guess I just kinda got used to the fact that I'd never be normal, that there'd never be a place I could really belong to.

When I first got with the Brotherhood- not that it was much of a Brotherhood when I first got there- I really didn't think it would be any different from the last five places I'd called "home" in the past three years. But with the Broterhood... things changed, I guess. And maybe I'm the idiot, cause I'm the one who really started to think it could last. Even though I know nothing good ever lasts for me, I still let myself hope that everything might be able to stay that way forever. So maybe it's my fault.

But at least I ain't the one who just left.

Pietro's selfish. He's seriously, seriously selfish, because he just left us and doesn't even really care. And you don't just do that to someone, man! Especially not the people who've always had you back, especially not the people who care about you! The people who called themselves you friends- and you just left them, abandoned and broken and all alone. Like we don't all know what that's like.

I thought- and wow, it sounds stupid to actually say- I thought we were almost a family. Or at least the closest thing I can ever remember having. Closer than my rotten deadbeat dad, that's for sure. I cared about them. They were like my brothers. And you _don't _desert your brothers like that, yo.

I want Pietro to come back. Maybe if he does, things would get back to normal again. I wouldn't even be too mad, as long as he was sorry. I just want everything to stay the same. I guess I want my family back.


	3. Angry

Pietro's an asshole. He's a shallow, lying, self-absorbed, hypocritical, traitorous asshole. And if no one else is going to say it, then I will.

When I first came back from trying to join up with the X-Geeks, he told me almost the exact same thing- that I was being a selfish, self-absorbed idiot. You know what he told me? He said that it was one thing to be over the moon about Kitty, but that us, the Brotherhood- we're a team. And you don't just desert your team like that.

Yeah. It's funny now.

Pietro and I felt like we were more than friends, sometimes. The guy was probably the closest friend I ever had, and the nearest I've ever gotten to a best friend. Sometimes it even felt like he was my brother. Sure, a brother I had never asked for- a hyperactive, impatient, egotistical loon of a brother who had to have some bizarre form of ADHD and was too smart for his own good- hut he was a brother. We all were; me, Pietro, Fred, Todd, and even Tabby, I guess... brothers.

Or, at least I thought. Because no matter what he meant to us, obviously we didn't mean as much to him, or else he wouldn't have just left us.

It's been five days. Five days since the Sentinel, five days since it all went to hell, and I've had a lot of time to think about exactly when it started to go wrong.

The obvious answer, of course, was that everything only got screwed up when Mystique showed up out of the blue with Wanda- but that's too easy. There had to have been things we missed, things we should have noticed- signs, hints, clues, anything to indicate that Pietro's loyalties had turned.

I don't even know why Mystique had to come back in the first place. I mean, she already left us once! That's just not how it works! When people leave, they don't just get to come back again and tear everything apart!

Is it wrong to say I was actually happy with the life we'd built? All of us, the Brotherhood- things weren't so good, but things were _good_. Things were as fragile as a glass vase, but they were good and I was happy. And then Mystique had to come back and raise the vase over her head. Magneto attacked and the vase dropped, and then Pietro left, and now we're all broken.

Freddy's hurt; Toad's confused; I'm angry.

Anger is a dangerous, destructive thing; but it's also powerful. It all depends on how you use it. It can either break you and tear you down, or you can turn it to your advantage. You can let your anger use you, or you can use _it _to make you stronger. A lot of times, I don't know what my anger does to me.

But I know that if Pietro comes back- if, but he won't, because when people leave they don't come back, or at least they don't come back the same- he won't have an easy time being accepted back in. Todd might forgive him, because more than anything else he just wants everything back to normal. Maybe Freddy would too, after a while. Wanda? Well, she'd probably just be Wanda, which means trying to kill him on sight.

And me? I don't really know. I think I just might join her. After all, you can use your anger or you can let it use you- and I'm _not _going to be used.


	4. Alone

You know how everyone always says that blood is thicker than water?

Yeah, well, I never really bought into that. Sure, it's true from a scientific standpoint- the density of blood is thicker than that of water. But from a human standpoint?

I used to think that the only one I needed, the only one I could rely on, was myself. I mean, when your dad abandons your twin sister in a crazy house when you're just six years old and then dumps you in foster care only a year later, you kind of learn pretty fast that you are your own greatest ally. For years, I always thought that I'd be just fine being my own friend- my only friend.

But all that changed when I came to the Brotherhood house, even though I'm not really sure why. For the first time, someone had my back. Someone wanted me around, someone was there to be my friend, someone cared about me. I'd never had that before. I had friends... and all because my father brought them to me. I guess I really do owe him that.

Was it really only a few months ago that it was Christmastime, and I was wondering if it could just stay like that forever? It wasn't much, but it was home- just me, Fred, Toad, Lance, and Tabby against the world. And it was the closest thing to a family I'd ever known.

But he came, and- just like he always does- he ruined everything.

I'm starting to think that I'll never be allowed to be happy. That no matter what, I'll still always be pulled back to my father, an attraction that is nothing short of magnetic. He has power over me that I fear I will never be strong enough to break- even though I want to. God, I want to so bad. I don't want to hurt anyone else.

But I know it's no use wanting, or wishing, or hoping that things will get better. I'll always go back to him. I always have. I went back to him now. I went back to him in the prison. I went back to him after Wanda. And I went back to him every single time when I was a child, after every single test. No matter how much it hurt, I always went back. maybe that's where my problem started.

I wasn't always as fast as I am today. But I sure am fast now. I'm the fastest man alive. My father made sure of that. Wanda and I... were barely _four _years old.

When it comes down to it, it doesn't matter if I'm happy with the way my life is going or if I don't want anything to do with him- if he calls, I'll always come running, just like the little henchman I know he sees me as. Not a son, a henchman. Nothing else. I never have been anything else.

I know that I've hurt them. Lance, Toad, Fred, Wanda- what must they be feeling right now? Anger? Hatred? Betrayal?

Of course.

"Just like him," Wanda had said to me on that night that is so clear in my memory right now that it might as well have happened only ten minutes ago. "You always were." And who are we kidding? She was right. I'm just like Magneto, right down to the hair, and I always have been. It won't ever be different.

It hurts me too, leaving them like that. I know I've made a mistake. But I also know things can't be the same. I'm not going back on my own- and if I do, things will need to be different. We can never be the way we were- happy, safe, a family- again.

After all, maybe blood really is thicker than water- even if it's poisoned blood.

**AN: Thanks for listening to my first-person word vomit. And now back to your regularly scheduled programming.**


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